I WALK....IN THE NIGHT...

The grandfather clock chimes 3:00 a.m.  I never intended to sleep.  Tonight is the night.  I walk through the house … silence all around me….

I carefully open the door and I walk out onto the deck…..

The night sky is dark with just a sliver of silver moon sparkling on the water… I stand on the deck, inhaling the air – the smell of salt filling my lungs….. I walk slowly down the steps, careful in the darkness ….

I walk through the yard out to the water’s edge, my thin gown glued to my legs by the night breeze.  The grass feels so cool on my bare feet. 

His boat is docked straight in front of my pier, about 50 yards away….. I walk out on the pier in the darkness, because I’m familiar with each board… each step.  I know it’s him…. he said he would be here.  He’s waiting for me. 

There’s a light on the top of the mast – nautical regs for docked watercraft in navigable waters such as the Intracoastal Waterway.  I look at the reflection of the light on the water….. funny how it makes a sparkly line that leads right to my feet.

The boat is dark…. eerie…. is he in there?  Is he sleeping?  Is he looking out towards the shore? We haven’t spoken in two days.  

The wind is whipping my nightgown around my ankles and suddenly there’s a chill in the air.  The dark sky isn’t dark… a million stars are shining down on me – lighting my way? …. What way?  I walk back and forth, trying to find an answer to the question….. what is the price of happiness?

Do I walk…. walk off the end of the pier and into the water…. swim to him, the love of my life?

Or do I turn and walk back to shore…. never to touch his face or feel his arms around me?

Morning is here.......

I now ……. walk alone....